raining

today is a sad day... its raining.. i hate rain when it brings down one's mood.. why do i keep trying? why? looks like the answer to this is with me.. negative and negative does not add to positive, but positive and negative add to positive.. get it?

i hate my guts.. even though i say it, i dont mean it.. why do i say it? what am i thinking?

anyways, finished reading My Story.. 3 days and finish it.. fast reader? dunno.. borrowing a book which I'd gave someone as a present? how hopeless am I? -____-

next time will be sure not to repeat this again.. -.-

one more thing.. will be returning the book to you at wednesday.. so no worries eh, joy?

haiz.. i hate rain when it bring down one's mood.. how come i feel so lousy inside? so worried inside? so skeptical inside? how come i just cant look at the bright side? is the bright side hard for me to find in this situation? i hate this i hate that.. is there anything i ever like? yes there is.. few but happy things..

talking with u guys are probably the best thing to happen in this time.. take my mind off things.. yes you did.. i hate feeling like this.. so helpless here.. if i can only.. NO! I can do this and that.. i can win this.. i can never truly fail unless i never tried my best..

people may think i'm stupid and so on.. but i'll never give up, not with my friends cheering me on.. defeated even without "fighting" is just too much for me.. once this is overcome, i'll be able to give my all.. watch me..